Bawful After Dark: February 24, 2010

Ball.
To start your evening, go check out this link. Now. Do it. It's Brian Scalabrine getting a spray tan (which we will get to see in action tomorrow night!). (Thanks to JE Skeets for passing that link along on his Twitter feed)

We all know the Kings Purple Paupers are a mess. Remember when Excremento was playing .500 ball for several weeks? Now they're only slightly better than the Nyets. Coach Paul Westphal has taken a little heat from his players about this, and now he's bullying Spencer Hawes, while Tyreke Evans gets off scot-free, even though he had much harsher words for Coach Westphal. Great way to build team chemistry and improve morale, Coach!

The fine folks over at Cowbell Kingdom have put together a recreation of just how this conversation may have gone down. Take a look:

"Precisely."

Worst of the Night in Pictures:

I guess the good news is that he only sprained the ankle instead of turning it into a fine paste of shattered bone and shredded ligaments. So he's got that going for him, which is nice.

The last time I saw someone get violated like this, it involved Carl and Hand Banana.

Woah! That hand is even more screwed up than mine!!

"Oh my God. I see this team every day and even I can't believe what I'm seeing."

Wow. Yi's dunk face is about as scary as a Teletubby.
...Then again, I dunno. That purple Teletubby looks kinda shady.
Yeah, a Teletubby is scarier than Yi's dunk face.

Shaq is one gigantic human being. That is all.

Sergio Rodriguez gives us another example of dying slug defense
Nationally Televised Games:
Lakers at Mavericks: Well, Kobe hit another game-winning dagger. Now he can be a SWAC for the next few games and the Laker faithfuls won't mind that much.

All The Other Games:
Timberwolves at Hawks: Sure, the Timberpoops beat the Heat last night. But that's like beating up on a high school team since D-Wade was out, so shouldn't that only count as half a win or something?

Grizzlies at Wizards Generals Bullets: Tweet of the day: "Josh Howard will miss the season after tearing the anterior cruciate ligament. Once again, he has a problem with his joints." Damn. Totally kicking myself right now for not thinking of that joke.

Frail Blazers at Raptors: Last night, Chris texted me while I was at the bowling alley to let me know Camby was hurt, and the Curse of Bill Walton had struck again. I was most decidedly not incredulous. I mean, who didn't see this one coming? You can never fully wash off the stink of the Clippers, and being a big man on the Frail Blazers is like wearing a red shirt on Star Trek. No good can come from it.

Pacers at Bulls: Just go away, Pacers. You're too boring to make fun of, and not good enough to hate.

Hornets at Bucks: Brandon Jennings only went 1-of-9 from the field in a four point effort against the Bricks' defense on Monday. The Bricks!!

Magic at Rockets: FYI, Daryl Morey was on Bill Simmons' podcast earlier this week. Well worth a listen.

Thunder at Spurs: The Thunder had their win streak blown last night. A little good scheduling luck for the Spurs?

76ers at Suns: Well, the Suns managed to win last night in come-from-behind fashion on the road. Watch them blow this theoretically easy home game.

Bobcats at Jazz: As we know, the Bobcats get up for big games. This might actually be an entertaining one.

Pistons at Clippers: Oof.