Friday, March 26, 2010

Bawful After Dark: Weekend Watch

DENIED.
Well, I think this one picture pretty much sums up that Bulls game

So, it sounds like the general consesus is that I shouldn't exactly be kicking myself for not seeing last night's Bulls game. I was bowling in league, and the one TV near my lanes was showing the Butler/Syracuse game. (Special bawful mention for the airballed free-throw attempt very late in the game by some random Butler player that was so short it barely brushed the bottom of the net. Way to show up in the clutch, champ.)

It does, however, sound like I missed an eventful broadcasting experiment where Ernie, Kenny, and Chuck ventured out onto the floor to do the play-by-play. In honor of this occasion, get ready for a heavy dose of the TNT crew in the WOTN in Pictures.

Worst of the Night in Pictures:

Crackberry
CAPTION THIS!
What is Charles Barkley texting/tweeting?


Flower
Chuck is big pimpin' again, I see. (However, what are Ernie and Kenny looking at?)


Sombrero
Chuck is... I have no idea. Why the hell is he wearing a sombrero?


Grimace
I haven't seen a grimace like this since the last time I went to McDonald's


Adelman
Appropriately enough, Rick Adelman pulled a Dunleavy while coaching against the Clippers


Random Craig Sager is random.
Craig Sager is consistently entertaining, even if for all the wrong reasons

Nationally Televised Friday Games:
Heat at Bucks: Fear the deer! (I enjoy saying that way too much.)

All The Other Friday Games:
Jazz at Pacers: Danny Granger claims he doesn't believe in tanking for a better draft pick because it goes against "every principle of sportsmanship." While true, that also doesn't explain how the hell they're on a winning streak. This team is garbage! They shouldn't even be winning games by accident!

Timberwolves at Magic: The Timberpoops are on a 14 game losing streak, and only two losses away from tying the franchise record set back in '91-'92. Also of note, Minnesota has allowed an average of 114.4 points over its last 13 games. Is it possible these two stats are somehow related?

Hawks at 76ers: The Hawks haven't swept a series against the Sixers since '96-'97. For perspective, I'm pretty sure I was still rocking the oversized braided belt look back then. Those were sad times.

Nuggets at Raptors: Fact that should surprise nobody: the Nuggets had their season-high field goal percentage game against the Craptors earlier this season (61.5% on Nov. 17).

Wizards Generals Bullets at Bobcats: What a day. Gilbert Arenas avoids jail but still gets to spend 30 days in a halfway house, and if the Bullets lose this game, they'll set a franchise futility record with 14 consecutive losses.

Kings at Celtics: I... don't have much to say about this game, so instead I'll just pass along this picture of a dude disrespecting a Dennis Johnson jersey by apparently using it to smuggle a spare tire into Fenway.

Pistons at : Oh no. The Pistons are on their worst road game losing streak in a decade, and now they have to face a team trying to avoid being the worst NBA team ever? I'm scared. Hold me.

Lakers at Thunder: Outscoring Durant in all three previous meetings this season, Kobe always gets up for games against Kevin Durant. (Wait a second, that sounded wrong...)

Crabs at Spurs: Old age, injuries, etc. have officially ended the Spurs' glory years. I have to keep reminding myself of that because I foolishly get excited for a split second when I see a game like this on the calendar.

Knicks at Suns: Mike D'Antoni will wake up after a bad dream that he is no longer in Phoenix and is the coach for the Bricks... wait, what? NOOOOOOO!


* * *

Nationally Televised Saturday Games:
Frail Blazers at Hornets: I don't think this season can end soon enough for the Hornets.

All The Other Saturday Games:
Jazz at Wizards Generals Bullets: The Jazz get to play this one night after a road game against the Pacers, but then get to play the Bricks Monday and the Warriors Wednesday. That's pretty much the equivalent of NBA spring break, right?

at Bulls: Who the hell decided to give the Nyets so many reasonable games late in the season? Come on Chicago. Hopefully this game is just a Saturday in the park for them. (Sorry, couldn't help myself.)

Lakers at Rockets: And tossing a little more dirt on the shallow grave that holds the Rockets' season...

Mavericks at Warriors: I'm sure the visiting Mavs really appreciate the chance to play against Don Nelson.


* * *

Nationally Televised Sunday Games:
Spurs at Celtics: Remember what I said about the Crabs/Spurs game on Friday? Just go back and re-read that. I don't feel like hitting copy/paste.

All The Other Sunday Games:
Kings at Crabs: Oh my. If Tyreke the Freak is still all concussiony when this game is played, it could be one of the longest stretches of garbage time we'll see all season for the Crabs.

Grizzlies at Bucks: The Grizzlies get to take on the Bucks after a nice three-day rest. Is that enough to derail the John Salmons Express?

Pacers at Hawks: The surging Pacers... sorry, couldn't say it with a straight face.

Bulls at Pistons: Can we get Ernie, Kenny, and Chuck to call this game too?

Raptors at Heat: It would be a total waste of my time trying to predict this game. (You know, aside from the Craptors not playing any defense) We'll just have to go with the flow and see what happens.

Nuggets at Magic: A battle of second-tier teams from both conferences. Could be fun. We can only be sure of one thing -- Stan Van Gundy will wear something really gaudy that probably involves a tacky tie-less black shirt buttoned up too high with a jacket.

Suns at Timberwolves: Isn't this the kind of game that the Suns will somehow stupidly manage to screw up and make far too close for comfort? I think so.

Frail Blazers at Thunder: It's certainly possible that some playoff-style intensity could show up in this game. I like it.

Warriors at Clippers: I think it's time to break out some alliteration to describe this game. I'm thinking "The Craptacular California Clusterfuck." Sound about right?

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