Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Who needs Tiger Woods? Golf now has Shaq!


Shaq can't sink a free throw, but he can sink a clutch putt. Who knew?

When not busy being (lamely) pranked at a Waffle House, Shaq has been doing the latest season of his Shaq Versus reality TV show. (You know, the show whose concept he stole from Steve Nash). His latest escapade on the show? Turning into basketball version of The Big Happy Gilmore. Well, minus the Bob Barker ass-whuppin', natch.

Having never before played golf, Shaq hit the links to take on none other than Charles Barkley, the man who has quite possibly the single worst golf swing in the history of the game. It only resembles a golf swing in the way that Greg Ostertag resembles a finely tuned athletic machine.

In something of a surprise, nobody was killed by an errant drive, and Shaq actually won. Shaq never wins these things! Okay, yes, Chuck is pretty much turrible at golf these days, but at least he's actually played before. Anyone who has ever swung a golf club knows how ridiculously difficult it is to hit that damnable little white ball with a stick and get it to go anywhere other than the woods or the lumberyard.

Then again, even considering that difficulty level, beating Sir Charles at golf is something like beating a ten year old at wiffle ball. (Unless of course the kid has been studying Tom Emanski's defensive drills. Gotta throw that caveat in there. You don't mess with a kid who can throw a ball in a trash can from center field off one bounce.) So I wouldn't exactly throw a DVD of that episode in the trophy case at the Shaq household. Gotta leave some room for that 2011 NBA championship ring, right? Right? Oh damn it, I can't even delude myself into thinking Shaq on the Celtics will work out...

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